Will I regret my tattoo? - The reason behind my tattoo

Coming to you from the pool side…

When the word ‘tattoo’ gets heard in a conversation some people will say something like, “You’ll regret it in 20 years” or “Your body is too precious.” Some other people will say something like, “Your body, your choice” or “You must be openly expressive.”

I can see all points of views on tattoos, the good and bad. I agree on some, and disagree on others. I can see how they can be regretful but I can see how they can be preserving a memory for a lifetime. I can see how our body is the best canvas for forms or expression but I can see how tattoos are not for everybody. 

A tattoo could mean anything to anyone, but it is up to that individual with a tattoo whether or not they are content with sharing their tattoos ‘greater meaning’ or whether they don’t want to reveal it was a drunken mistake. For many, getting this permanent ink for eternity is much more than a name of a family member on your wrist, a random flower on your ankle or a dragon on your thigh. It can be about closure and can be a healing gap for something you have experienced. It can represent a loved one or that time you went on holiday. Tattoos are on the surface, but they go beyond skin deep. 

The many people that do have a tattoo or many tattoos are going to ink which ever body part they like in any style, shape, form and colour they wish. They do this for self expression because their body is a canvas and they honestly do not care if you are able to ‘appreciate’ it or ‘accept’ their decision. A tattoo can be a rash decision, or a hard thought planned tattoo. “You’ll regret it”, “You ruined your body” or “You’re too young” or even “What a waste of money”, comments like these can be taken into offence or can be agreed upon. Their ink may be close to their heart and you have just called that flower that represents her dead mother a “waste of money”. “I bet you regret it” is said to a guy with the name of his first girlfriends on his chest but you just put him down even further than he already felt. It all depends on the individual and the reason behind their tattoo/s. Yeah they might regret it. Yeah later on in life that might think they were too young at the time of their first tattoo. Yeah they might have spent a little too much money. But how does that effect you in ANY way? You aren’t inside their body, you don’t have to feel their regret. We are all born with our own bodies and what we decide to do with them should not matter anyone other than ourselves. 

Do you honestly think that planning an idea, creating a design and enduring the pain of the ink on us that we are “wasting our money” or “ruining our body”? I see this as love and passion at some point or another. Just because someone does not understand your reason behind a tattoo does not mean that it is not worth getting. I find tattoos the most beautiful way for self expression.

So, why did I get my tattoo? I got it for a long list of reasons, some too personal to share and some are quite obvious to those close to me. After I explain the symbolism behind my tattoo, you may have a greater understanding at what I am getting at:

On my back I got inked the symbol of a lotus flower and a symbol of an unalome. The wavering ovals are the human desires that distract us and as the ovals decrease moving towards a straighter line pointing downwards it signifies the path to enlightenment; reaching for Nirvana. For the lotus flower, this represents rebirth and purification of the spirit, the unalome is the path to this. 

Now, you are probably thinking, well why on earth did you get this, Tylah?

Well, I got this permanent decision done because those ovals are the ‘distracting’ things that I’ve experienced in my life, like getting emotionally attached to people, thinking less of myself than what those close to me perceive me as and the many challenges I’ve faced. 

This tattoo represents the journey I must undertake in order to end up where I am destined to be. It is there to remind me everyday that I must move on from my past distractions, current distractions and distractions that I may face in the future because they hold me back from the journey to finding who I am and making the most of this life I have been given. 

I will carry this tattoo with pride and joy as this is something I am proud of and to reflect what I want out of life. Someone very close to my heart said to me this morning, “Most people will never understand your tattoos intricacy. But will still think that it’s beautiful in multiple senses despite. The people who do understand it love you for the person that you are and what you represent, which is the same with your new ink.” In a nutshell, this is how I want people to view my decision of this tattoo that I now have on my back for the rest of my life. 

My experience: I got this ink done in Bali by my Dad’s tattooist who is recognised as a high quality artist who has tattooed skin all over the world. I don’t think I will have anyone tattoo me other than him. His work is incredible and he shows his talent. Obviously I knew getting this done was going to hurt, and it did. But you’d be surprised when I was under the needle that it wasn’t even that bad, even while I was very sunburnt. Especially for such a big piece for my first one. I was expecting more pain, but I clearly get this pain tolerance from my Dad who has many, many tattoos. This tattoo was worth that hour and a half and I really enjoyed getting this done. 

What made you smile today? - Mornings on the beach

Coming to you from a very sunburnt body in bed…

Everyday is full of the simple things that bring us joy… Whether it be your husband coming home from work, a funny text from your best friend, a long walk along the beach, sitting with some mates having a beer or even being snuggled up in bed with a good book. What is one little thing that made you smile today? 

When you think about it, most of us, including me, forget to enjoy the simplicity of life at times. We crave so much happiness from big things and look too far into ‘finding’ happiness. Most of the time it can be all around you, you just aren't taking notice because your attention is turned to finding something bigger. These tiny special things are blocked by our stress, anxiety and ‘busy’ lives that we claim to lead. STOP. BREATHE. Take a good god damn look around you and pick out five things that put a smile on that face. Look up from your phone right now and look at the 360 degree view that surrounds you. Look hard. Study what you see. I bet you smiled at least once, or even more. You would be shocked if you observed more and just how much little things catch your attention and bring you joy. 

Well today, a lot of things put a smile on my face and warmed me with joy. It was the little things. The very little things. 

My morning started with a long walk along the beach at 7:30am, here are five things that made me smile:

1. The water was so clear and the way the waves rolled onto the shore so gently
2. Four young Balinese children full of laughs were splashing each other in the water 
3. A local Hindu praying and doing their offerings 
4. Just how warm the sun was on my skin after coming out of hiding from the clouds after three days
5. And, lastly… Watching a Balinese fishing boat sit on the shore floating along with the current  

I’m Not Vegan Anymore? - Visiting Kuta / Bali, Indonesia

Coming to you from the poolside…

In life you meet a very small handful of people who are special to you. They bring you complete joy, they warm your heart and they offer the most pleasing company. 
In my handful of these people, that are close to my heart, reside in the area of Kuta in Bali. Since coming to Bali since 2009 I have come across the most beautiful souls. This is my eighth time on this paradise island, and I know the difference between those who are your ‘friend’ because of the things you buy from them and those that are your friend because you both bring joy to each other and share honest care to each other. Each trip the bond becomes stronger yet as I get older it becomes a little more fun because I can share a Bintang or five with them! It is true when they say, it is not the place that makes it but it is the people that make it. Bali wouldn’t be my favourite place in the world if it wasn’t for the people.

I’m not going to sit here and write about these people, because I’d honestly be sitting by this pool all day… Yet, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea, does it? But I will tell you, that one of them is the most kind-hearted, gentle and grateful individuals I have ever met and he never fails to make me smile. He gives us his ‘cheap shit’ (jewellery and accessories), but the bond is so close, our family to his and we always help him when he is in need. Another young man, the most funny and down to earth person I have ever met, the most popular Balinese you’ll ever meet. He is a true Balinese, but conveys the most hardcore Aussie accent I have ever heard. I can sit with him for hours and talk utter crap with him and I know if I ever get into trouble while on the island, I can rely on him. Lastly, a lady that resides on the island, but is not Balinese. She puts her heart and soul into protecting the dogs of Bali, and will go out of her way to put them before herself. Her passion, and kind and warm humour is the best company to be around.

I mention these three individuals because they have had the most impact on me. I have met SO many people like these three, but my connection with these crazy, but amazing people is unique and special. I love being around everyone I have met in Bali, and I enjoy all their company. The Balinese are incredible people, the best people I have come across. Whether it’s my Dad’s tattooist, that guy that owns the pub, that man that sells the ice-cream I met when I was 11 or whether it’s that security guard outside our favourite resort. All of them, have a special place in my heart.

Now for the question of the day, am I still living a Vegan lifestyle? That answer today is negative. From yesterday, I cannot call myself a Vegan anymore. Not because I am against the lifestyle, or I think it is not the healthiest way to eat anymore. Rather it be a gut instinct, and coming to the realisation that it has psychologically been difficult for me. I am not living this lifestyle anymore because of the pressure it has had on me for the past few weeks. Not a negative pressure, or an unhealthy result it has had on me, but rather that it holds me back. I still wish to live with a plant-based and whole foods diet and avoid dairy as much as I can. But, I will not let the pressure of consuming an egg or a sprinkle of cheese let it define me. If I want some scrambled eggs, I won’t let the label of ‘Vegan’ stop me, and if I go out to eat in public and there is no non-dairy option then I won’t let that anxiety come back to bite me on the ass. 
My mental state and psychological health is more important to me than anything, if my diet is causing so much anxiety and strain on me then I need to do something about it. The path I now lead will be Vegetarian, and I need to get my digestive system in order by slowly introducing diary back into my system, or there will be hours on the toilet…

I do still support the Vegan movement, and I wish it was educated more into society and I will aim to put a meat-less and non-dairy option first, but if that cannot be the case then that will be OK to consume dairy or meat. I feel mature about this decision, and I am confident to say that a full Vegan lifestyle is not for me. I am still an advocate for the treatment of animals, and understand the effects the meat and dairy industry have on the animals. But as everyone should, putting our mental capacity at risk can be threatening, and putting ourselves first is most important. I was over the anxiety and depressing feelings from certain aspects of the lifestyle. Life is too short, and at the end of the day what we put into our bodies is our decision. There is no point in stressing over the most simple thing that us humans have to do in order to survive… EAT!

Observing Your Surrounds // Airports

Coming to you from the sky...

All of the people, there is so many people. They are moving everywhere – wandering aimlessly, waiting patiently and standing still. All around is chaos – delayed flights, crying infants, lovebirds making out at departure gates, tears of happiness because someone’s daughter has arrived home after one year and the occasional French backpacker. It’s all chaos, but there is simplicity about this chaos. Thousands, if not millions of people in one place at a time from all around the world, a person from every continent, every country and even every city. They are all here for the same reason. They want to get somewhere. Whether that somewhere is home, a holiday, business trip or calling a new place home; they are all trying to get to their destination. 

The simplicity of this is the emotions. The airport sees more emotion than any other location in the world. It witnesses everything from tears, love, heartbreak and anxiety to wanderlust, determination and anger. It even witnesses those lost individuals travelling on their own from Sweden that have no clue which direction they are going in. The airport sees more love than weddings, sees more heartbreak than funerals and sees more chaos than a murder scene. It is the unique atmosphere that is exposed to every single individual that is there. If I must estimate on my own observations, two thirds of people that are in the airport are blind to what surrounds them. Some want to get where they are going, some have families eager to get to their holiday destination and some are travelling on their own to explore the world. 

What the people in the airport are unaware of is that they are apart of that simplicity of the chaos. Every single individual makes up this unique atmosphere, even if they are blind to it. 

This is why I absolutely adore airports. They intrigue me for this very reason. Being in the location of so many different types of people. The different emotions. The different destinations. The different stories. 

I am an observer. Ask anyone who knew me as a baby or young child, I am content with sitting to myself watching the passing parade and taking in my surrounds. It fascinates me to this day how much time passes after I find myself sitting somewhere looking all around me. Maybe this is the reason for my infatuation with airports. An airport to people like me is like a toy shop to a four-year-old. To some, ‘observing others and surrounds’ may seem boring or somewhat ‘creepy’, but this is what you’re missing out on because you are staring at your phone scrolling through Instagram. Sounds cheesy? Look up from your phone more often and take in your surrounds. You’ll be surprised with the thoughts and observations you come up with. 

Trust Your Gut Instincts

Intuition is the important role that alerts us to the path, people and situations that we will find uniquely fulfilling.

This poem by Robert Frost would have to be my all time favourite. He shares his story of two paths; intuition and the norm. I interpret this poem to reveal that the path 'less traveled by' is the intuition path that he followed and it is 'grassy and wanted wear', exposing that it is rare for someone to take this path. You can feel the writers frustration with the expectation of society when he reveals, 'I shall be telling this with a sigh.' Robert shares that taking the path less travelled is what makes ALL the difference. 

Your intuition tells you intimate and important things nobody else will - and it will also reveal the things your own mind will argue with. Intuition can be either a moment where you naturally know if something is RIGHT or is WRONG. It's our special 'inner' voice that just instinctively knows and it understands what uniquely, at times seemingly illogically, will make you at peace. It is the gap between instinct and reason, and consciousness and unconsciousness.

So, is it fear that you feel or is it a gut feeling?
Intuition is created from your spirit, your authentic self and your heart. Fear is generated from your ego and from your personality. From my own personal experience, following a gut instinct is vivid and strong-willed. Following your gut feeling makes us wise and stronger. It does not make others perceive us as foolish and absurd, nor does it make us deliver pain or harm upon others. Intuition allows us to access information to protect ourselves and strengthen our personal ambitions. It offers the truth, even if it is painful and life changing.

Our culture has implemented us individuals to believe that being 'logical' or 'impartial' is what should be dominate when making personal decisions. But hang on, what about that 'gut feeling' or 'little something' which tells us how we feel beneath all these thick layers of rationality?

Too often, the way that we deal with our intimate private internal conflict is doing what we think is the 'norm' and what is 'right' to do while inevitably turning away from what we truly want to do. This will occur more than you realise - those battles that you have with yourself.
Have you ever had a struggle within yourself and are pulled by two courses of action by your differing emotions or a dynamic change within yourself?

Sometimes you'll experience a sense that something is not right; a feeling of hardship or turmoil. While frequently opting for those 'safe' paths, you find yourself increasingly disconnecting from your true essence of values and you only end up hurting yourself. Turning away from what you truly want to do, sweeping personal gut feelings under the rug and choosing the 'sensible' path based on the thoughts and expectations of those around you can only leave you fretting over what 'could have been.'

We fear our intuition and revelations because we are afraid that the metamorphose of power will interfere with the 'sanity' that our culture expects of us.

If you embrace the path of aligning your decisions and judgement with your core values, without interference of peers while recognising and appreciating your 'gut feeling', you have the potential to change and influence the rest of the world.

The longer you mull over big choices, the less satisfied you will be afterwards. Simply going with your 'gut feeling' and spending less time on those big decisions can lead to a more content, at peace feeling. Scantily analysing the pros and cons and sweating over the rationality, the more likely you'll make a decisions you are fulfilled with in the long term. So, do you follow your own personal intuition, disregard the opinions of other people and don't carp over the possible consequences or do you follow the social norm, falter over the decision you've chosen and let yourself be constrained with the perception of others?

To regularly, many people listen to the noise and judgement of the world instead of themselves. Listen to your own personal voice, your own one-of-a-kind heart and your own individual, developing soul.

Your body is your greatest and wisest guide. You honestly need to recognise and listen to its quiet wisdom, rather than the annoying chit chat in your mind. Listening to your body, you will be following a deeper calling, an impulse and that soul-driven knowledge, and when that feeling bubbles up, you are drawn to inevitably accepting the best opportunity for yourself.

You know those times during the night, just before you sleep, or waking p at 3am or when you wake up 8 minutes before your alarm, you have those least expected moments when you get a gut instinct or an idea... Make yourself trust and rely on that higher self communicating through to your consciousness. It is your inner guru, the YOU within you, the spiritual soul you posses.

Accepting the truth and your 'gut feeling' will make you a more authentic individual and will create you to be more capable of accepting life changing decisions in the future. 

Next time you come face to face with a life changing, or even a minor decision, take a deep breath. If it seems like all too much to handle, when you are tip-toeing on the fence, relax your shoulders and breathe. Go deep within your unique self, keep breathing and feel that instinct that pulls you to what is best. If you go against those who oppose you, that is okay; it is your own decision, and your soul is leading you on your own personal, wise journey.

Take note that whatever happens, as a result of our actions and choices, that path we take will ALWAYS be best for us, at that time. Smile, trust that gut of yours, surrender to the moment and enjoy your life.